This is me: thoughts on self acceptance

Since the idea of the blog centers around the self, I thought that the first thing that I would really want to talk about is acceptance. Acceptance in some ways indicates an agreement. It is some sort of a tacit understanding and acknowledgement of the way facts are.

The dictionary meaning of acceptance is a general agreement that something is satisfactory or right, or that someone should be included in a group or the act of agreeing to an offer, plan or invitation or accepting a difficult or unpleasant situation. If we look at all these definitions of acceptance we can very easily apply them to self acceptance and that is what I want to talk about today.

But before I jump the gun and talk about self acceptance, I would like to ask whether you accept yourself? Did you just smirk? Did I just hear you say "Of course? What a silly thing to ask!" Well let me tell you that it's really not as straight forward. We are very quick in our acceptance of events, situations and people but we are a tad uncomfortable about our acceptance with our own selves. When I talk of self acceptance I am talking of looking at ourselves as a different entity and accepting all that we see there…the good, the bad and the ugly. It’s an agreement with ourselves to value, validate, acknowledge and support who we are at this very moment, even those parts of us that we’d like to eventually change. (And yes there will be a few parts that you would want to change). This is important...even those parts we'd eventually like to change. And that folks is the most difficult part…to acknowledge the bad and the ugly parts and saying that’s me too. But in the meanwhile, you can be okay with those parts of yourself you want to change some day.

How do we go about this process of self acceptance? First and foremost it requires a large amount of honesty and self awareness. It entails a stripping of the personas that we have knowingly and unknowingly donned over the years of growing up. Once we have had a good hard look within, we come closer to the act of accepting all that is pleasant and unpleasant. After this we make a general agreement that all that is within should be included in our concept of the self. This is when we can tell ourselves to start the process of change bit by bit, one step at a time when we are ready. Often most of us lose our way here. We either refuse to change or want to change everything right away and want that change to be effective starting now. That I feel is a little unreasonable. After all it took us a good number of years to accumulate all that baggage and to expect that we get rid of it all in one go is a tall order! Though the process seems tedious and totally superfluous, it really is well worth the effort. Trust me I have done that! It took me a while to get there and through the process but it was worth it and it changed my life for the better. You will see that with true self acceptance, you are able to steer your development and growth the way you want to, feel more in control of your life and shape it on your terms and you are able to have more fulfilling relationships.

I will end with one of Albert Einstein’s quotes: "Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them".